zenglican

Anglican, Zen Meditating, Trade Unionist, Liberal, Left Wing, Foodie

An epiphany during epiphany (on the sacred feminine)

on January 26, 2014

I had the strangest experience today at church…it was strange because it did not start in church, it actually started on a visit to a Reiki practitioner and massage therapist. A friend of mine gave me a voucher a few months ago for a reiki session or massage by this woman she had been going to see.

I had two options, I could play it safe and go for a massage, or for what used to be a good little evangelical girl; I could take a walk on the wild side and have Reiki…this was for a number of reasons far to scary a decision to make so I procrastinated, I love a good massage, and I was intrigued by the idea of Reiki, which is a spiritual healing practice. I was pretty un-nerved because of my evangelical upbringing. After all the Christian crowd of my youth would have labeled her a witch, cautioned me on the thou shalt have no other Gods before me commandment and advised me that I would at the very least be dabbling in occultish practices that would bring the wrath of God and very likely a demon down on me.

Dilemma, dilemma…what to do?

This was all to tricky for a zenglican, a bit of a step too far…so I did what every sensible Anglican does when they are spiritually freaked out…I did nothing.

Christmas came and went as did my wedding and mini honeymoon. And then it happened, smack bang in the middle of Epiphany my troubled stepson called me a fat whore.

Did this push my buttons? It sure did…I was a mess, I went to my room and bawled like a baby, which seemed a better approach than screaming at my son and having an emotional meltdown all over him. My husband made him apologise and tried to comfort me but despite him doing all the right things I still felt lacerated and raw…like someone had taken 2 layers of skin off my soul.

I carried this for 24 hours and the my best friend called. She had booked herself a session with the reiki massage therapist and for some weird feeling did not want to go…did I want her appointment. Talk about the universe conspiring against me. I knew it was exactly what I needed an so with a few hours to spare I consulted the boys and then off I went.

When I got in to her room she asked me wether I wanted massage or healing, it was a no brainer, I was feeling bruised and sore, I needed healing. And so I lay down on her table and while I leaked tears she went to work on healing me…

I had visions,
I immediately connected with the sacred feminine,
I had a vision of my unborn children
She knew exactly where my spirit was at
She offered me some piercing insights into my psyche.
The complex and unexplainable pain from my stepsons attack subsided and evaporated.

I then went home exhilarated and un-nerved.

This week was tough, back at work after the holidays, bit of a financial crisis and then thank the lord the weekend again.

This morning abandoning the boys to their own devices I headed off to church.

It was different I was different
2 things happened…

1. I realised that I had been desperately needing connection with the sacred feminine, I had for the last 40 years been connecting to God under a patriarchal framework. And that connection had been a struggle, and over the years the link had become weaker and weaker and it was like the signal had been slowly fading away. I needed to connect with God the mother, the sacred feminine spirit of God and this deeply spiritual woman had led me back…or was it forward into her presence.

2. The healer had asked me if I knew I was psychic. Back in my old spiritual tradition they called it prophetic…and I did know but it came and went. Today at church It came back. I had at once an epiphany with the sacred feminine and reconnected with the divine. And all at once I had a knowing. The sense of being plugged in stayed with me through the whole service. I wrote a poem, a psalm, after having been blocked for years.

It turns out that the Lady Holy Spirit of God blows where she will, she uses who she will as a channel of her Grace and Healing and when we are ready, afraid or not she comes to us and fills us with her grace.

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